I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
