people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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