I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
where are you?
Hypothermia
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
