this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
should my penis look like a turkey
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
