Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
