I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
home. puking in laundry basket.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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