Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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