she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
he fucked my hip out of place.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
