okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
How external is "for external use only"?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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