I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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