You can't special order awesome
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
