The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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