Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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