She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
