Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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