All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
