Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
