dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
My ass is underappreciated
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
