i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
