haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
