I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
