I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
