If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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