I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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