have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
