Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
