My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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