dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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