if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
