STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
