i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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