I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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