Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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