How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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