I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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