he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
areolas are like halos for boobs.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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