I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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