he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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