If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
