Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
