We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
