the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
