cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
