He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
