i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
