i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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