I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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