She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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