I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
