Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
