in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
